Football Funny Quotes

Inspirational Football Funny Quotes for Athletes

Pressure is something you feel when you don't know what the hell you're doing.

- Peyton Manning
Tell Ray to put the eyeliner, the lipstick and the high heels away. I'm not saying he's a cross-dresser, that's just what I heard.

- Shannon Sharpe
I've been big ever since I was little.

- William ‘The Refrigerator’ Perry
Football doesn't build character, it reveals character!

- Marv Levy
Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.

- Joe Theismann
Sure, luck means a lot in football. Not having a good quarterback is bad luck.

- Don Shula
If I drop dead tomorrow, at least I'll know I died in good health.

- Bum Phillips
We're going to start with the injury report, obviously. Manning, Clark, Addai, Reggie Wayne, Freeney, Mathis, Brackett — all those guys will not play. Oh, hold up. That was my wish list for Santa Claus.

- Rex Ryan
The only way to stop Jim Brown was to give him a movie contract.

- Spider Lockhart
He is the only man I ever saw who ran his own interference.

- Steve Owen
I may be dumb, but I'm not stupid.

- Terry Bradshaw
Emotion is highly overrated in football. My wife Corky is emotional as hell but can't play football worth a damn.

- John McKay
Well, we've determined that we can't win at home and we can't win on the road. What we need is a neutral site.

- John Mc Kay
If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.

- Erma Bombeck
We can't run. We can't pass. We can't stop the run. We can't stop the pass. We can't kick. Other than that, we're just not a very good football team right now.

- Bruce Coslet
I'm travelling to all 51 States to see who can stop 85.

- Chad Ochocinco/Johnson
If the Super Bowl is really the ultimate game, why do they play it again next year?

- Duane Thomas
Most of my clichés aren't original.

- Chuck Knox
The people don't take baths and they don't speak English. No golf courses, no room service. Who needs it?

- Jim Mc Mahon
The reason women don't play football is because eleven of them would never wear the same outfit in public.

- Phyliss Diller